True Christians are children of God, with an identity no longer defined by what is outwardly observed in the physical realm. Churches that relegate women are following a physical order, guided by the limitations of material conditions. To illustrate: if I want to exit a house, I must follow the directions that lead to the door; a spiritual entity, however, cannot be confined by doors, distance, locks, or keys.
The mystery of humanity is that the majority in this world remain bound to a worldly viewpoint. Their description of humanity stops at physical limitations, ignoring the spiritual condition that reflects God’s likeness. Physical traits, including sexual distinctions, belong to this world—not to the spirit. Having been created in God’s image, humanity ultimately bears no gender. Jesus made this point clear when answering the Sadducees’ question:
“Jesus answered and said to them, ‘You are mistaken, not knowing the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven. But concerning the resurrection of the dead, have you not read what was spoken to you by God, saying, “I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob”? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living.’ And when the multitudes heard this, they were astonished at His teaching.” (Matthew 22:29-33 NKJV)
Created in God’s image, all humans share the same essential nature. In their physical condition, however, people adjust to identifying either as masculine or feminine. This differs from those who are aware of their spiritual condition, which imposes no such limitation. Adjusting only to one’s physical appearance signals a failure to identify with one’s spiritual reality. Much of the confusion stems from the assumption that Adam, as a male, alone represents the full reality of what was created in God’s image.
In Zimbabwe, there is a seemingly endless drive for women’s emancipation, often coming from those unaware of humanity’s true condition. In the physical world, women are expected to bear children and be subordinate to their husbands. The physical world requires order, as outlined after the Eden incident. Yet few have sought to understand the deeper reasons behind discrimination against women. They blame culture for women’s suppression, a view galvanized by what I consider a misunderstanding of the Genesis account.
“So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky, and all the wild animals. But for Adam, no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called “woman,” for she was taken out of man.’” (Genesis 2:20-23 NIV)
This Scripture reveals something profound. Adam’s declaration shows there is no essential difference between him and his wife; it reveals a unity that makes it impossible to view Eve as fundamentally another being. Only one man existed in the Garden of Eden. The reality of God’s image was physically manifested in Adam (Genesis 1:26-27). All of us were represented in him. Whatever God intended to accomplish with humanity was contained in Adam. We cannot simply apportion blame to Adam for the sin in Eden, for we were one with Adam.
At that time, no suitable helper could be found for Adam among the other species. For a helper to be truly effective, she had to share Adam’s very being, so that everything done by the woman would reflect Adam’s will. The idea of the need for a helper is applicable to physical beings, rather than spiritual beings. This is why Adam did not resist when the woman gave him the forbidden fruit, helping him to access what had been impossible. An important perspective is that Adam represented all of us in our physical existence, even before we were born.
His failures were our failures, his successes would have been our successes, and his mediocrity would have been ours. It is incorrect to assume we would have been better than Adam, whether in his blunders or his triumphs. For Adam’s helper to come into existence, God performed an operation on him, producing a woman. This implies she was an element of Adam himself. In other words, it is wrong to suggest that a woman was different and therefore a stranger to Adam.
Adam himself confirmed this: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” (Genesis 2:23 NIV)
There is no inherent difference between husband and wife, just as intrinsically, there is no division in humanity. The question of who is superior or inferior does not arise; at the point of marriage, the two are one. Scripture confirms: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24 NIV) This describes the true meaning of marriage, in contrast to the divorces common in our environment. In our ordinary calculations, we assume that husband and wife are two separate personalities, but according to God, they are one.
Discord in marital relationships is often rooted in this misunderstanding. An obvious question arises: How can two personalities with different backgrounds truly become one? The answer lies in understanding the principles of communication, which serve as the lubricant. For two to become one, a process of communication enables understanding and determines suitability for unity. Marriage is complicated; and without proper communication, it falters. There must be deep, honest communication between those desiring marital union.
Problems arise where deception is involved, or when people enter such a landmark relationship unprepared. Sadly, this characterizes many divorce cases, which are now too readily accepted as normal. Proper communication focuses on two people becoming one flesh. This is far more than a romantic fantasy. The two become one, meaning one’s goals become fused with the other’s. Discordant marriages portray the opposite: they catastrophically cause distress, leading to diminished relationships and affecting the lives of all involved.
We must first consider why a suitable helper could not be found among the species that coexisted with Adam. A pet dog can be helpful in many ways, even a companion. A man can tame and train animals according to his requirements. But there is no reasoning with such creatures; therefore, they cannot be classified as truly suitable helpers.
A suitable helper implies one with whom one can reason in making decisions. In a healthy marriage, a husband may come up with an idea, intending to implement it for the family’s benefit. However, after consulting his wife, the idea may change somewhat to incorporate her views. This is the very suitability that was envisioned in the idea of acquiring a helper. Naturally, this places communication as the most important element in marriage.
When two people become one, they deeply appreciate communication as the tool to understand each other’s aspirations. As a helper, the woman understands why she supports her husband’s dreams. Suppose the husband wants to be a professional footballer. Through effective communication, the wife fully grasps the dreams and goals required to succeed in that pursuit. She therefore becomes his number-one supporter. The condition of oneness does not preclude the couple from deciding to support the wife’s goals instead. Decisions reached by the couple are adopted unanimously, based on progressive agreement.
There is nothing stopping couples from placing men in the position of being helpers to their wives. The husband’s profession may not serve the greatest good for the majority. The wife could be a professional tennis player with the potential to bring more income to the family, for instance. The couple may then swap roles, with the husband becoming subordinate to his wife. Bear in mind that in Christ, leadership means servanthood. In a proper marriage, communication is always the hallmark of understanding.
For married Christians, no one should impose rigid dos and don’ts. Marriage is a voluntary institution, entered into by one’s own volition. Couples may even come to an agreement not to have children. Because the two are one, roles can be the result of good communication. Bearing children, though subordinate to other important functions in a marriage, is the one role that cannot be exchanged between couples.
But they can agree on who takes the role of cooking or cleaning the dishes. The term “helper” implies helping according to one’s passion to complement what the other person lacks. A husband can receive highly constructive advice in leadership from his wife. I cannot envision any relationship that surpasses a marital relationship. The couple becomes one, even though perceived as two.
Oppression against women stems from the assumption that those in marriage are separate beings. If that were the case, then marriage would not be properly instituted; it would imply entering marriage with ulterior motives. One might marry for fame and wealth, while the other is focused on producing children. Marrying a woman simply because she looks beautiful should never be the fundamental reason for entering marriage.
“The sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves of all whom they chose. And the Lord said, ‘My Spirit shall not strive with man forever, for he is indeed flesh; yet his days shall be one hundred and twenty years.’” (Genesis 6:2-3 NKJV)
Couples who marry on such shallow grounds should expect problems along the way. In this life, a famous person can become infamous overnight. If attraction rests solely on that person’s fame, nothing else holds that marriage. Similarly, beauty and charm cannot sustain commitment. A woman might have had beautiful eyes that drew a man to her, but after an accident, she becomes blind—or suffers any other physical disability.
The glue that held the relationship together dissolves. A properly constituted marriage does not rest on physical elements. It is a spiritual relationship that cannot separate the two beings. For instance, a spouse’s physical disability can actually strengthen the bond because of love. Failings in a marriage result from poor communication, where love focuses on external objects rather than on unconditional love. Cases of infidelity can often be traced back to poor communication at the relationship’s very beginning.
Marriage is not sustained by infatuation. Before even discussing sexual matters, those contemplating a proper marriage ought to understand that communication must first be built on constructive matters. Who is the person you are marrying? What are their interests, dreams, and goals in life compared with your own? What makes them genuinely attractive to you? On what principles do you agree or disagree and how reconcilable are those goals between the two of you?
In other words, the consideration of marriage comes after fully understanding the other person and openly disclosing your own disposition. It is about desiring to add value to another, not solely desiring to take advantage of them. Those who rush into marriage driven by infatuation are living in a dreamland; they are the cause of much confusion in relationships. They are not serious about the profound matters of marriage.
The upshot is this: marriage requires deep, serious consideration before one commits. The two become one, so that a spouse’s problems become the other spouse’s problems, and vice versa. Man and woman were both created in God’s image; neither is superior nor inferior to the other. The ideal human is not identified by gender. With this understanding, it becomes impossible to suppress women. Education on these realities could go a long way in eradicating marital problems. To the Sadducees, Jesus taught:
“You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. At the resurrection, people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. But about the resurrection of the dead—have you not read what God said to you, ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? He is not the God of the dead but of the living.” (Matthew 22:29-32 NIV)
The Sadducees failed to distinguish between what was created in God’s image and the Adamic genealogy. The principle of oneness in marriage derives from the reality of God’s image. Without the spiritual reality of oneness, no marriage can be sustainable. At the level of understanding humanity’s true characteristics, there can never be any consideration of separation. Those who suppress their wives urgently need this understanding. Husband and wife represent one and the same thing.
It may help to imagine switching roles for the sake of understanding. A husband becomes subordinate to his wife, and the wife becomes superior. Upon becoming a Christian, one is no longer under marital dictates in the same way. This may be why the apostle Paul recommended celibacy (1 Corinthians 7:1, 7). Paul faced the challenge of people who could not differentiate between their previous life and the new life in Christ.
The new way of life invalidates former worldly goals and aspirations. Some pastors recommend marrying only those of similar doctrinal beliefs, but there is no truth in that requirement; it was never directly recommended by the author of Christianity. Belonging to the same church denomination does not automatically bind one to the principles of marital commitment.
“Large crowds were travelling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: ‘If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.’” (Luke 14:25-27 NIV)
Jesus was not married, and there is no record of his disciples travelling with their spouses while doing God’s work. They represented what is not of this world; therefore, we must not conflate the Kingdom of God with earthly conditions. The Christian calling cannot be viewed in the manner often observed in denominational setups, because believers represent God’s Kingdom. Christians are directly answerable to God and are not evaluated on the basis of gender.
“So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.” (Galatians 3:26-29 NIV)
This Scripture speaks of people who appreciate their equality, not designated by rank, though they hold different roles according to 1 Corinthians 12 and Romans 12. This flows from the common reality that Christ dwells in each of them, doing His work through their individual capacities, with each taking instructions directly from Him. They are God’s children, just as Jesus assumed the role of God’s Son in His human capacity. If Jesus did not take instructions from anyone else, a Christian also takes instructions from no one except directly from God—so long as the focus remains on adding value to loved ones.
The question of what happens to those married before accepting Christ is adequately answered in Luke 14:25-27. A godly principle is more about adding value than conforming to worldly standards, which are often abusive. The decision to become a Christian is radical and should never be treated as business as usual by those called to surrender everything.
The beauty of it is that God’s children are generally peaceable, making them attractive to peace-loving people. Everything depends on how willing the other spouse—whether husband or wife—is to tolerate the new life. The apostle Peter indicated that it is possible to influence an unbelieving spouse toward the faith:
“Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes.” (1 Peter 3:1-3)
God’s way is that of peace and understanding. It is possible to attract a nonbeliever, even though Christianity stands against worldly trends. Those who maintain godly principles are not of this world and are not identified by gender. Therefore, Peter’s advice to wives can equally apply to Christian husbands. Peter was addressing a situation within the common understanding of worldly traditions, but in Christ, the very consideration of gender is ultimately invalidated.
Since Christians are not identified by gender, they take their instructions directly from God, setting aside all forms of tradition that do not align with godly principles. The truth that there is no difference between men and women can be unsettling to those accustomed to taking advantage of women. Standing for truth attracts truthful people but remains very unpopular with the untruthful. Yet the fact that this may be unpopular does not make it untrue.
Andrew Masuku is the author of Dimensions of a New Civilisation, laying down standards for uplifting Zimbabwe from the current state of economic depression into a model for other nations worldwide. A decaying tree provides an opportunity for a blossoming sprout. Written from a Christian perspective, the book is a product of inspiration, relieving those who have witnessed the strings of unworkable solutions, leading to the current economic and social decay. Most Zimbabweans should find the book to be a long-awaited providential oasis of hope, in a simple conversational tone.
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