We’ve all experienced those bursts of happiness—winning the lottery, graduating, landing that dream job or promotion, or feeling deeply loved and accepted by someone special. Life is full of joyful moments, often balanced by just as many disappointments. When happiness feels close, everything seems worthwhile, but when it fades, despair can creep in, sometimes even leading to thoughts of giving up. The irony is, happiness can’t be bought; even the wealthy often struggle to find the contentment they seek. It’s something we all long for.
The harsh truth is that in today’s world, happiness can be fleeting—or even an illusion. Wealth may appear to bring joy, but even the richest can fall into depression or pass away, leaving everything behind. For football fans, Chelsea supporters know all too well how temporary happiness can be, watching their team struggle in recent times. The truly happy ones are those who manage to stay joyful even in tough and disappointing moments.
Happiness often shines brightest in childhood but can fade with age. For some, it is stolen early by abusive parents or guardians. No matter the past, true happiness remains elusive for many. Understanding what real happiness is—and how to find it—is essential. Too often, people chase it through drugs, prostitution, corruption, or other harmful paths, mistaking material possessions for genuine joy.
For instance, some boarding school kids might pressure their parents to buy treats just to impress their peers. While they may seem happy when admired, they can feel empty inside—especially when around friends whose parents cannot give as much. In such situations, those with less might even be tempted to steal.
Children whose parents can sufficiently provide for them often seem happier than those whose parents cannot. Talented children, whether in sports or other admirable pursuits, also give off a happier vibe. But that happiness has limits—life can change in an instant, and good fortune can surprise those who appear less privileged. Some may have envied Robert Mugabe’s children for their privileged lives, yet reports of drug use cast doubt on their joy.
There is no real happiness in drugs or alcohol, and if substances could speak honestly, they might admit to making people miserable. Reaching goals and earning honest money can bring short-lived happiness, but good health is the biggest factor that shapes it. Even someone like Bill Gates knows that life ends for everyone, and death is the great equalizer.
Teenagers often dream of landing a great job, having a happy marriage, and raising wonderful kids, but they are not always sure how to make it happen—especially when they are aware of the times they have let their parents down. Many believe ultimate happiness comes from satisfying romantic or sexual desires, yet life often brings unexpected disappointments and broken promises. The reasons for unhappiness are countless, just as the sources of happiness can be endless.
Real happiness is not found in chasing it for yourself, but in working to make others happy—a truth as sure as the sunrise. Such people may face mistreatment, but no one is happier than someone dedicated to others’ joy. Marriage often carries the illusion of happiness, and many, after bad experiences, say, “Once bitten, twice shy.” Perhaps that is why marriage can feel like the trickiest road to happiness.
If both partners enjoy sex equally, they can have a blissful marriage, but problems arise when one has a higher sexual drive than the other. This mismatch can lead to issues like infidelity. It is unfair to judge either partner for wanting more or less sex; the real problem can often be compounded by not being honest about these needs before marriage. The key thing is that real happiness is not something you can maintain through brief moments of sexual activity.
The same goes for other causes of incompatibility, which can only be resolved through genuine understanding. As mentioned before, no one can be unhappy when their goal is to make the other person happier. Someone who is impotent might need to put in extra effort to please their bed partner and choose to give up sexual passions for their partner’s sake.
Before helping those planning to marry their loved ones, it is important to break down the issue. People marry for various reasons—some for sexual enjoyment, others to have children, and some for status or material benefits. Others simply want to raise families and pass down values and responsibilities. In the British royal family, many found it hard to understand how Charles and Diana’s marriage unraveled, especially when it appeared that nothing should have been lacking in such a match.
I was recently surprised when an elderly woman confided that, in her more than fifty years of marriage, she maintained her sense of happiness by constantly being unfaithful. As disturbing as that sounds, it highlights how some people chase happiness through choices that ultimately lead to ruin. True happiness comes when both partners share the same goals, while sexual experiences are as brief as life itself.
Some believe giving up sexual passions is impossible, as sexual drive can feel overwhelming due to ignorance. While God created sex, it is not more important than human beings. It ultimately comes down to where one chooses to focus their attention. For those who have embraced their identity as God’s children, this is not an issue. The life of Jesus serves as a model for those seeking true happiness. He never married and did not encourage His disciples to marry.
When someone becomes a Christian, they become a new creation, no longer fixated on physical matters. Sexual passion, like any worldly desire, can trap someone in the fleeting physical realm. In the Bible, the Israelites’ decline was often linked to sexual immorality. A person who cannot control their sexual desires becomes enslaved by them, and like any other sin, unchecked desire can ultimately lead to downfall.
Consider a couple having a fantastic marriage, with all the blessings imaginable. Yet there comes a time when either spouse, through some medical condition, is unable to engage in sex or unable to perform what may have caused the other spouse to be happy. Tragic incidents are reported of such eventualities, robbing couples of lifelong happiness.
Sex appears to provide the greatest challenge for ordinary Christians assuming new lives as God’s children. The goodness of sex lies only in one’s ability to control it. Those who are truly converted are among the few who can control their sexual desires. The early apostles, having been created anew, did not have time for sex, even with their own wives.
“Now for the matters you wrote about: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.’ But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.
“Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that” (1 Corinthians 7:1-7, NIV).
Sexual sin was a major issue in the Corinthian church, and Paul worked hard to show how shallow such passions were, even recommending celibacy. He believed the key to overcoming these desires was to focus on greater priorities, like spreading the gospel, which captured his attention far more than thoughts of passion. It is unclear if he persuaded the Corinthians to place Christian values above sexual urges, but in his eyes, a true believer is not driven by worldly desires.
Similarly, those who chase wealth often fail to see its emptiness—a point Jesus illustrated when He compared it to a camel passing through the eye of a needle (Matthew 19:23-24). While sex or money may offer temporary joy, their fleeting nature often leaves people anxious about losing them to death or other misfortunes. In Zimbabwe, as a nation, we all experienced being trillionaires under Robert Mugabe’s leadership, yet we couldn’t enjoy or benefit from having massive amounts of cash.
Even in a happy marriage with a loving, compatible partner, there is always the possibility of loss. This is why some people tragically resort to murder or suicide after losing their spouse, whether through infidelity or death. It brings to mind the late Simon Chimbetu’s song “Shanje dzandipedza mafuta.” Jealousy often stems from intense passion; one might feel content in love, but just imagining losing a partner can lead to deep unhappiness.
The same is true for those fixated on wealth—fearing its loss can even bring on physical illness. Consider a brilliant footballer sidelined by injury, or a once-popular musician struggling to draw crowds. Such changes can devastate those whose happiness depends on material success, because physical things never last.
What is truly remarkable about human potential is its connection to eternity. Joy found in eternal values is priceless, worth giving up everything else for, yet offering far more than anything the world can give. The death and resurrection of Jesus perfectly illustrate the ultimate joy found in selfless giving.
“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”
“The Pharisees, who loved money, heard all this and were sneering at Jesus. He said to them, ‘You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of others, but God knows your hearts. What people value highly is detestable in God’s sight’” (Luke 16:13-15, NIV).
The Pharisees looked down on and mocked Jesus, believing happiness came from accumulating wealth. Like many people today, they thought money brought more joy than sharing with others. People crave happiness, but often do not realize it comes from making others happy. This is the hidden key to true joy.
It is hard to see how such a message could reach those involved in corruption, for example. Like everyone else, they genuinely want happiness but do not know how to find it. The irony is that so-called good people who wish harm on fascists are no different from them. Happiness cannot come from wishing others dead. Jesus taught a principle that remains misunderstood, even by many who call themselves “Christians.”
“But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matthew 5:39-45, NIV).
Few people see this passage of Scripture as a path to true happiness. Politicians might even risk losing support by promoting what it teaches. Yet the results of living by it are as certain as the sun rising tomorrow. Those who think loving enemies is foolish only reveal their own foolishness. One of the strangest things in life is how foolish ideas are often celebrated as wise, while genuine quests for wisdom get laughed off as foolish.
Finding happiness, even in this life, comes down to one question: Are most people glad you exist? (Altruism). This contrasts with asking: Are you happy to live, even if others are not happy about your actions? (Self-centeredness). Blessed are those who recognize the light, no matter their background. Altruism is the only key to happiness. It’s undeniable that celebrating life is all about spreading joy to others.
True and lasting happiness comes from God’s Kingdom, which can be embraced even in this life through its teachings. Real happiness goes beyond what can be felt in the physical body. Those who are part of the Kingdom may lose their earthly lives but gain eternal joy. In this life, two things can help bring happiness: being willing to face anything—even hardship or trauma—to help others out of hopeless situations; and offering help only in ways others can bear, living a life of sacrifice for the good of others until the very end. I often joke that the happiest people in the world are comedians, since they dedicate themselves to making others laugh—true embodiments of happiness.
Andrew Masuku is the author of Dimensions of a New Civilisation, laying down standards for uplifting Zimbabwe from the current state of economic depression into a model for other nations worldwide. A decaying tree provides an opportunity for a blossoming sprout. Written from a Christian perspective, the book is a product of inspiration, relieving those who have witnessed the strings of unworkable solutions, leading to the current economic and social decay. Most Zimbabweans should find the book to be a long-awaited providential oasis of hope, in a simple conversational tone.
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