Failures in human relationships often arise from ignoring or misunderstanding the principles established by God. One cannot genuinely love others without first loving oneself, not in pride, but in recognising one’s God-given worth. Similarly, one cannot love oneself without first loving God. Grasping this divine order resolves what humanity has long struggled to comprehend.
Created in God’s Image: The Call to Self-Love
As beings made in God’s image, we must embrace self-care before extending love to others. True love for God naturally leads to a healthy love for oneself, as we acknowledge His imprint upon us. Pride, often mistaken for self-love, is its very opposite—a distortion that alienates us from both God and our true purpose.
A proud person may appear self-assured, but in reality, they are their own enemy. Authentic self-love aligns with the reason for our existence. Just as scientific problems are solved by applying proven formulas, life’s relational challenges are addressed through divine principles, many of which are overlooked, yet essential.
The Great Commandment: Love God, Love Yourself, Love Others
For Christians, the Bible is not merely a religious text but a guide to life’s solutions. Jesus declared, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). This entails emulating all that was revealed and taught by Jesus. When asked about the greatest command, He replied:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it: Love your neighbour as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40, ESV)
This commandment establishes self-love as the standard for loving others. To love others “as yourself” means recognising that we cannot pour into others from an empty vessel. Since we are God’s image-bearers, loving Him wholeheartedly naturally fosters a healthy self-love—one that overflows into compassion for others.
Purpose Fuels Love
Jesus exemplified this perfectly. He loved humanity because God loved humanity, but He first loved Himself in alignment with His divine mission. He did not seek human approval but remained steadfast in His purpose, even when others rejected Him.
“After this, many of His disciples turned back and no longer followed Him. So Jesus asked the Twelve, ‘Do you want to leave too?’ Simon Peter replied, ‘Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words of eternal life.’” (John 6:66-68, ESV)
Many today abandon their God-given purpose to please people, only to end up disillusioned. Some even take their lives when betrayed by those they trusted—a tragic consequence of misplaced devotion. Yet Jesus, though rejected, never wavered, because His love was rooted in the Father, not human validation. The sequence is to first love God with all one’s heart and mind, before enabling one to then fully understand their purpose in life, which is to enhance the well-being of others similarly to themselves.
Unshaken by Rejection
When we draw love from God—the infinite Source—we remain unshaken by others’ actions. This could be the primary reason Jesus advocated for a secret giving (Matthew 6:1-4), just as James similarly advocated for such practices (James 1:27). Such an attitude is cultivated by adhering to the principle of giving more than one expects to receive from others. If someone rejects our love, it does not devastate us, because their acceptance does not define our worth. Like Jesus, we recognise:
- No one owes us love—except those who choose to reciprocate it.
- Our mission transcends human approval—we serve a higher purpose.
- Unconditional love does not demand repayment—it gives freely, as Christ did.
Those who love others more than themselves often suffer deep distress when their expectations go unmet. But those anchored in God’s love remain joyful, even amid disappointment, because their fulfilment comes from Him alone. They appear to find greater satisfaction in places marked by rejection, much like how light shines most brilliantly in the presence of darkness.
The Fruit of Self-Love
A life rooted in God’s love bears fruit for others, just as a tree does not eat its own fruit but exists to nourish those around it. Jesus’ sacrifice was motivated not by personal gain but by divine purpose, whether accepted or rejected. He passed away, still wishing blessings upon those who took His life. He was misunderstood as one who valued his enemies above his friends. Yet, his love remained unwavering, indifferent to whether he was loved or despised.
Those who struggle with bitterness, anxiety, or despair over others’ actions reveal an absence of true self-love. They seek validation externally rather than from their Creator. But those who walk in Christ’s example remain at peace, knowing:
- Their worth is unchanging—because God defines it.
- Their love is unshakable—because it flows from Him.
- Their purpose is unstoppable—because it is divinely ordained.
Conclusion: Love Begins with God
The path to loving others rightly starts with loving God completely. From that foundation, we learn to love ourselves, not in vanity, but in sacred stewardship of His creation. Only then can we extend unconditional love to others, free from the fear of rejection. A deeper analysis reveals that the individual who despises sinful nature is one who truly loves oneself. Such an individual is prepared to sacrifice their love for others, which originates from a righteousness from God.
The purpose of humanity should be to reflect God’s love in interactions with others. Acting in a manner that is harmful to others is equivalent to acting in a way that would be harmful to oneself. Like Jesus, we are called to fulfill our purpose, regardless of human response. For in Him, we find the strength to love without limits—just as He first loved us.
Andrew Masuku is the author of Dimensions of a New Civilisation, laying down standards for uplifting Zimbabwe from the current state of economic depression into a model for other nations worldwide. A decaying tree provides an opportunity for a blossoming sprout. Written from a Christian perspective, the book is a product of inspiration, relieving those who have witnessed the strings of unworkable solutions, leading to the current economic and social decay. Most Zimbabweans should find the book to be a long-awaited providential oasis of hope, in a simple conversational tone.
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