Technology thrives on precise procedures that help us achieve our goals. In the same way, effective communication — vital to the survival of any nation or society — depends on a disciplined process. When communication breaks down, communities or relationships decline. The root of poor communication is often an imbalance: inadequate listening paired with an excessive eagerness to speak. A foundational principle, too often overlooked, is captured in the counsel of James: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak” (James 1:19).
You can assess anyone’s listening skills by observing their tolerance for differing viewpoints. Poor listeners tend to bristle at perspectives they disagree with; good communicators remain open to hearing whatever another person genuinely needs to express. Those who prejudge before they listen are the true offenders in the realm of human connection. Many wars and long-standing disputes can be traced back to a violation of this simple principle.
In human relationships, effective communication is paramount, and the process depends heavily on good listeners. A lack of attentive listeners contributes to struggles that range from suicidal thoughts to various psychosomatic illnesses. People in distress often need an empathetic ear far more than they need a self-appointed expert to solve their problems. Listening must be intentional and purposeful. There is a specific way of listening that cultivates true understanding.
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.” (James 1:19–21 NIV)
Listening is central to human relationships and does not require agreeing with what is being communicated. Good listeners refuse to let past experiences distort their perception. Instead, they focus on entering the speaker’s reality, recognizing that different individuals face vastly different circumstances and challenges.
Some life experiences are difficult to share with unwilling listeners. Many people prefer to hear only what feels comfortable, while others choose to hide their thoughts entirely — a tendency that creates deep fractures within the human family. In the pursuit of popularity, telling lies is often easier than speaking the truth. Speaking honestly can invite unpopularity and sometimes even make a person a laughingstock.
The primary reason for Jesus’ crucifixion was His unwavering commitment to telling the truth. People generally prefer comforting falsehoods over hard truths because lies often resonate more smoothly with their desires. Yet there is good news: those who have truly experienced the truth are unlikely to return to lies. One way to evaluate information is to notice how eagerly it is embraced by the crowd.
When information is not true, two outcomes tend to follow. If it is blatantly false, it may gain viral popularity as people share it, unwittingly advertising how misguided it is. This dynamic is plainly visible in society’s fixation on what it officially deems unacceptable, such as the news of an executive caught watching pornography. If it is only partially true, it attracts even more attention, because many are drawn to duplicity.
Parents often struggle to discourage their children from engaging with such vices. Ironically, the more disgust parents express, the more some children feel compelled to explore. Public disapproval seems to fuel the popularity of these vices. People are often more intrigued by discussing what is widely considered evil than by discussing what is good. Understanding this bent in conduct helps us interpret human behavior more clearly. Unacceptable behaviors receive more attention than acceptable ones. Pro-survival, wholesome information is frequently dismissed as dull and quickly forgotten.
The newspaper industry thrives on this dynamic. Editors know exactly what their audience craves, so papers are filled with sensational, toxic, or violent stories because that is what captures interest. A successful newspaper business is built on publishing highly toxic news; publishing good news does not appeal to ordinary readers. In an ideal situation, anyone entering the newspaper business must confront the near impossibility of sustaining it by selling good news. However, to the general public, nothing seems exciting about what is virtuous.
From a purely commercial standpoint, good news rarely makes a profit. Only truthful people, free from the profit motive, are drawn to the business of proclaiming good news. Living at the lowest level of degradation, most people are always itching to hear scandalous, bad news. They will quickly buy anything that discusses political violence, for instance. Yet when the topic shifts to avoiding political violence, very few are interested. This is how the world is molded. A newspaper that sells bad news becomes popular and reaps huge profits. On social media, posting about political violence and common vices attracts a high volume of followers; the same is not true for those who post good news.
“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me.” (John 15:18–22 NIV)
True Christianity was never intended for popularity. Any Christian movement that becomes widely popular would, upon critical analysis, likely prove inauthentic. Authentic Christianity draws only a few — those willing to confront the truth, unlike those who seem content to enjoy the comfort of falsehood. Popularity is driven by anti-survival information. Pro-survival information only receives the limelight when the anti-survival content becomes unmistakably exposed. After defeating death at the resurrection, Jesus became popular, worshiped by many even today.
It is not difficult to understand the pattern of human life, which is characterized by pain on one hand and happiness on the other. Everyone wants to be happy, but the price of happiness is conquering the cause of pain. This is why hard work is necessary before earning the income needed for survival. Human life is always a mixture of pain and happiness. The natural tendency is to seek happiness without first enduring pain. However, happiness that comes before suffering is delusional. A farmer who avoids hard work during the rainy season may enjoy temporary ease, but what awaits him is starvation, because there will be no harvest. This holds true for every vocational occupation.
As designed from the Garden of Eden, one must work hard before realizing the benefits of that labor. Only criminals seek to enjoy benefits without working, and the price of that shortcut may be imprisonment. The reason people avoid listening is an intolerance for confronting things they dislike. The tendency is to avoid anything that brings stress. But whatever the causes of stress, are only postponed as long as they remain unconfronted. The price of happiness, then, is to face whatever threatens to bring stress.
The most important factor in achieving happiness is communication with fellow humans. Communication enables a person to solve his own problems and, in solving the problems of others, receives an endowment of happiness. Truly happy people are those who solve other people’s problems. A good communicator is, therefore, a good listener, far more than a constant talker, as James suggests. There is a specialized methodology of listening — distinct from ordinary listening. Ordinary listening gravitates toward assumptions rather than what actually emanates from the speaker.
All of humanity’s problems emanate from assumptions, anchored somewhere between truthfulness and falsehood. Blatant falsehood does not cause the deepest problems, just as proven truth causes none. The real difficulty arises when truth and falsehood are mixed, producing an assumption that masquerades as fact. Human beings should never be regarded as intrinsically problematic; rather, it is the assumption-driven behavior that causes problems. God loves people, but He does not love the wicked things they commit.
In our modern era of information technology, communication ought to be easier than ever before. The persistent challenge is the habit of avoiding duplication before understanding. It cannot be overstated that accurate listening is the most important aspect of our civilization. Many facets of communication must be utilized for effectiveness, but here we will focus on duplicating before understanding — the core principle suggested by the technology of communication.
The most critical factors in good communication are duplication and understanding. Notably, this process does not require agreement on the subject being discussed. It can even include recognizing that the other person might desire to take your life, with or without a good reason. The natural question that arises is: How do you understand a person who is not inclined to listen or to be listened to?
Criminals, for example, do not want to be listened to. But the greatest disservice you can do to a criminal is to succumb to their state of avoiding communication. Criminals prefer to remain in dark corners, where their secrets stay hidden. All criminal actions thrive in secrecy. Difficult though it may be, the art of reaching out to criminals can be among the most important undertakings in this world.
Blessed are those able to reach out to criminals with the aim of accessing genuine communication. The starting point is to appreciate that a criminal is a potential child of God. Buried deep inside that criminal mind is something created in God’s image. The communicator’s aim is to access that dignified element of God’s nature. The person does not need preaching first; he is in desperate need of being understood. The communicator may be aware that his target is a criminal, but deliberately sets aside the aspect of criminality. The goal is to reach the image of God within. The criminal may not be in a position to be heard, especially if the communicator projects a condescending attitude.
The Master of Christianity, Jesus Christ, modeled this listening skill perfectly. He was viewed as patronizing to sinners rather than associating only with those considered righteous. The difference between Jesus and the rest of humanity is that Jesus’ listening was perfectly accurate — He understood the speaker without resorting to assumption.
Jesus understood people even before they struggled to articulate their troubles. When He encountered the Samaritan woman at the well, honest communication flowed, leading to her repentance. She felt so thoroughly understood that she declared Jesus a prophet. Jesus was an honest communicator who could understand anyone, even in their sinful condition, because He was a good listener who practiced duplication before understanding.
To relate well to one another, humans must adopt the skill of listening, precisely because of our human limitations. What makes the other person behave as they do? What are their interests? Why do they prefer to act that way? A good listener becomes the best friend of a criminal, even without being a criminal himself. Listening, therefore, requires duplication before understanding.
Duplication means repeating exactly what the person says — no need to paraphrase, evaluate, or correct what the speaker regards as true data. What is true to them is true in their experience, regardless of your opinion. They may be clinging to information they assume to be true but is actually false. Yet sharing that experience, over and over again, with an interested listener becomes profoundly therapeutic. Through this methodology, the person is most likely to recover normal reasoning. The entire aim is to access the element created in God’s image, which is completely different from what appears on the surface.
All misunderstandings are caused by a failure to duplicate information. Assumption is wrongly granted eminence, giving rise to a myriad of problems.
“Before a downfall the heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor. To answer before listening — that is folly and shame. The human spirit can endure in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?” (Proverbs 18:12–14 NIV)
The communicator may fail to reach the image of God in another person when exasperated by their degraded condition. Yet the skill of listening with duplication before understanding still does the work. Failure usually stems from condescension or from invalidating what the other person considers true data. Self-determination involves allowing the other person to be themselves and to receive respect, regardless of the communicator’s viewpoint.
Salvaging degraded sinners is not easy, but the difficulty is compounded by condescension and the impulse to invalidate. Criminals need to be listened to far more than they need to be talked at. Criminality, in a broad sense, covers a wide spectrum of human behavior — all of it resulting from failed communication that lacked duplication before understanding. In short, there can never be true understanding without first duplicating what the other person has to say. The most unwise action is to answer before duplicating and understanding.
Andrew Masuku is the author of Dimensions of a New Civilisation, laying down standards for uplifting Zimbabwe from the current state of economic depression into a model for other nations worldwide. A decaying tree provides an opportunity for a blossoming sprout. Written from a Christian perspective, the book is a product of inspiration, relieving those who have witnessed the strings of unworkable solutions, leading to the current economic and social decay. Most Zimbabweans should find the book to be a long-awaited providential oasis of hope, in a simple conversational tone.
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